When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
