Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think a kid would responsible me up
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
