Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
