I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
being pregnant is like rehab
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
