Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
