You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
