how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
