i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm bleeding and have questions
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
