I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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