What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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