I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
