dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
