Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize