Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
