We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
