the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
