sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
A+ Viking dick
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
