I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
