i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
