i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
