he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
