He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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