Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
then he tried to convert me to islam
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
