i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
