Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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