I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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