They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
