Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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