That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
