Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
