I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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