this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
