just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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