She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
bring money and cleavage
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
