Sry I called you an 8
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
