After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
