these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
