Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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