Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
3pm strippers are depressing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
