did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
