He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize