TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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