So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
