3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
