i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize