You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
