how can u be prego again
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
