idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
