His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Houston, we have a blender
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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