The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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