She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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