New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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