I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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