So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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