I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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