So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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