Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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