Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
