Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
