Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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