ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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