Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my being single is dangerous.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
