You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize