The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
