Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Bang-toberfest begins!!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
