I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
