I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
